how many -isms do you face every day?

In reading some of the other blogs, it seems that marginalization depends not so much on the act of exclusion, but in the personal significance that is associated with it. We are all touched differently by what might or might not be painful or uncomfortable situations. I try to be mindful of the privileges I was born with, and also those I have had to work to achieve. We become members of some groups that we don't choose for ourselves; other groups we must work our way into or out of. The labels we can't control clearly have an effect on those we try to. None of us are fortunate enough to start out with a truly blank slate.

In terms of current power structures, I've felt disadvantaged primarily as a woman. Females may be be equal or greater in population, but it seems that men retain most positions of authority. I've been referred to as a "cute little girl" more than a few times, often while waiting tables, which probably fits with the "ditzy waitress" cultural steroetype, but it doesn't suit me very well. Call me cute, but don't imply that I'm stupid! I once had an older male customer, after a discussion of my educational accomplishments and goals, tell me repeatedly that I needed to do whatever I planned to do in my life "before you lose your looks." As if that's a woman's only chance for success in life.

I could name off a few other experiences where I've felt excluded or uncomfortable, or even where I realized only in hindsight that I had been marginalized. But compared with what many others face, these minor instances seem too insignificant to bring up. What's significant to me is how my experiences, often by none of my own determination, can be so different from another person's. And yet we often judge people by what they've been able to "make of themselves" without considering the obstacles (racism, sexism, classism, etc.) they've overcome in the process.